You know how being in an emotional relationship of any kind takes courage and effort.
Ways of showing love can be through little favors, being very considerate, thoughtful, putting off something you want to do to be with the other person, and noticing little things they do and getting it done for them before they even ask. These are but a few really loving signs of investing in being connected.
Now if the other person doesn’t seem to connect that way and thinks that they are being very present in a relationship and really do not get it when you try to explain the said above behaviors as a sign of being loving, well…
There you go. This could build stress or disconnect and trying to stay connected to the other person could turn into an exhausting full-time job. Being right there in the very same space as the other person, trying to be emotionally connected, but you are connected in pain not really emotionally connected.
When do you give up? How long do you keep on giving and feeling disconnected? Why do you feel the urge to keep on trying to model that behavior of over giving? And the other person just doesn’t give you back the feeling that you are emotionally connected with them.
You really have to do self-examination when you’re feeling more disconnect or pain than fun, grace, connected, easy, and at least a sense that the other person is doing connection their way but you actually feel like it is in alignment with you so you sense it works for you.
If their way of emotionally connecting to you seems more aggravating or makes you seem like your in the room with someone but you are totally alone, then it is time that you ask your self why you would be so scarce to your own self. Why would want to let your self be exhausted trying to get someone to connect with you when you’re intuition tells you this isn’t going anywhere?
Look at your self with an honest open checklist of what is it that you are giving away in the first place thinking someone should respond to you in like kind because you are doing that so they should. Perhaps your expectations are confused, mixed with internal messages you’re not consciously aware of that are running. Maybe your boundaries aren’t defined enough to support you in emotionally charged situations.
Emotionally not connected when you are thinking you are connected can leave you feeling empty and you may not even know that is what is going on while your busy trying to be both people in the relationship.