How do you know if you don’t know you don’t know?

Wow, well that’s a mouth full, yes?  But I do believe that is a predicament we all go through daily.  An example: you might find out that you made a request that made someone angry the way you went about asking for something.  Or perhaps you gave your heartfelt opinion only to find out at a later time that several people thought that you stepped over the line ( their line).  But how were you to know that if it truly is your thought?

You can only investigate back into your self as to how you feel about you when you hear conflicting feedback.  You can really only notice how you are FEELING about your self when someone disagrees with you.  Is it a feeling of being attacked, humiliated, rejected, abandoned, ridiculed for having your own input in a situation?

Truly this is an opportunity for you to reach inside your self,  to follow your own true pattern as to why you are going through a deep range of emotion regarding the feedback.  It doesn’t have to be that you were wrong or inappropriate.  You could simply touch base in your self as to how you might imagine how the other person could have interpreted your intentions.  You could also be brutally honest with what you really meant and are you being completely in integrity with your statement that you made.

If so then you can hold that, stand by your side and figure out why you might be feeling rejected by someone else’s reality and their interpretation of you.  Find your tender spot and nurture it back to love.  But if you really feel like you screwed up then perhaps an apology would be just as lovely.

How would you like to be in a group webinar of 8 other like minded, interested people?  The small gathering would be questions and answers on this very topic.  To register for this relaxed but informative gathering go to: . There you’ll find pay pal and the group price is $20.00 per person. (90 mins.)

September 27th at 6:30 pacific coast time ($20.00) 90mins.  This will be the first of this kind of group interaction on everyday topics to give you tools to find your true north to navigate. There are only 8 at a time in the group to really go into depth.

The following group will be October 4th at 6:30 ($20.00) ( 8 in the group) 90 mins. new topic

October 10th at 6:30. ($20.00) (8 in a group) 90 mins. new topic

Your instatelewebinar information will be sent to you once the payment is received.  You can be on the phone or on your computer for a visual participation!  Learning with others can bring so much information! Please leave in the comment area on my website what topics would be of interest to you.   Thank you, Rita

Emotionally not connected

You know how being in an emotional relationship of any kind takes courage and effort.

Ways of showing love can be through little favors, being very considerate, thoughtful, putting off something you want to do to be with the other person, and noticing little things they do and getting it done for them before they even ask.  These are but a few really loving signs of investing in being connected.

Now if the other person doesn’t seem to connect that way and thinks that they are being very present in a relationship and really do not get it when you try to explain the said above behaviors as a sign of being loving, well…

There you go.  This could build stress or disconnect and trying to stay connected to the other person could turn into an exhausting full-time job.  Being right there in the very same space as the other person, trying to be emotionally connected, but you are connected in pain not really emotionally connected.

When do you give up? How long do you keep on giving and feeling disconnected?  Why do you feel the urge to keep on trying to model that behavior of over giving?  And the other person just doesn’t give you back the feeling that you are emotionally connected with them.

You really have to do self-examination when you’re feeling more disconnect or pain than fun, grace, connected, easy, and at least a sense that the other person is doing connection their way but you actually feel like it is in alignment with you so you sense it works for you.

If their way of emotionally connecting to you seems more aggravating or makes you seem like your in the room with someone but you are totally alone, then it is time that you ask your self why you would be so scarce to your own self.  Why would want to let your self be exhausted trying to get someone to connect with you when you’re intuition tells you this isn’t going anywhere?

Look at your self with an honest open checklist of what is it that you are giving away in the first place thinking someone  should respond to you in like kind because you are doing that so they should.  Perhaps your expectations are confused, mixed with internal messages you’re not consciously aware of that are running.  Maybe your boundaries aren’t defined enough to support you in emotionally charged situations.

Emotionally not connected when you are thinking you are connected can leave you feeling empty and you may not even know that is what is going on while your busy trying to be both people in the relationship.

Where is your Compass?

Have you ever felt really lost at any time in your life?  I mean really lost, like you simply didn’t know what the message was that was running through your whole body.  Or everything you were doing came to a screeching halt and you felt like you hit a dead end.  So you are on a path, one connected to Spirituality and in this learning curve of awakening you have some how lost your true magnetic north;  you have lost your compass.  This internal magnetic pointer is your own inner voice.  But remember this voice or compass can be drowned out by fear or confusion.  This fear can derail the best of us.  You can go from knowing certainty that you are heading in the direction you set out for and bam! you’re headed into a reality show of your own, filled with a bucket of worms and bugs and snakes and now what?  Do you stay in the bucket and claim your demons or do you jump into the next thing you can possibly grab onto and pull up out of the bucket?  Well, you can stay in the reality show and figure out what the critters are one by one and resolve the fear that they could be lethal or maybe they’re just harmless and look threatening.  In any situation you do have will and choice.  This is the part of claiming your compass in your reality show.  You can learn how to use the compass wisely and go in any direction you want. Remember that your reality show you are living in takes work to figure out what you should do in all situations.  You will most certainly be proud of your self for the effort and the learning.  And you’ll learn how to use your compass more effectively.

Interactive Learning

Perhaps we learned how not to be truly committed to applying what we learn because of our education system?  Maybe there was confusion from certain parenting skills as we were growing up.  We were suppose to learn responsibility but it is focused on doing something that proves we’re going to achieve an outcome.  Usually being the best at something.  When you don’t achieve that in and of itself, being the best, this can send us in an internal direction about our-self that actually leads us away from our Authentic self.  An internal signal from your Authentic self might be curiosity: I am learning some particular set of knowledge skills that when applied will give me options and choices.  Not a disappointment in your self that if it doesn’t come out exactly as the prescribed directions suggest then you didn’t do “it” right. Interactive learning is just that.  Be curious, get a perspective that is different than what you already have, try it out and move it around.  Feel and see how it works in different situations.  If it doesn’t work and you don’t get what it’s suppose to mean then go find more information.  Don’t assume you did it wrong.  Figure it might just be you did “it” differently than what you were told it was suppose to look like.  This takes courage to be different. To break from the herd.  To apply what you perceive and see what the outcome could be.  Be interactive within your self.  This is where you figure your self out in the reaction of your interaction every moment of your life.  Rita

Risk at changing

There’s always a risk when we give of ourselves.  The risk is that we could be rejected or dismissed and feel like we put our self out there and oooppps!  You know though that’s ok if you at least take the chance.  The resistance is the fear of the outcome.  You could be getting so attached to what might or could be the result of the risk that you never risk living in your full self.  When you risk something more than say buying a new car or piece of clothing, like reaching out to another person, well there is a chance.  That chance is the  possibility that they might not return what you were expecting.  And you might not really even know what you were expecting.  If you aren’t doing it for your self already, loving your self, or being honest with your self, or insightful about your self, then how is someone else suppose to fill your reality?  So, you can change your odds about risk by simply being open with out some kind of deep expectation that “it” is suppose to look a certain way.  Your way isn’t their way perhaps.  Take risks, live, be present, Rita

Taking time…

When you finally let your self wedge out a piece of time for meditation do you find that you are making your self do it?  Do you put it off thinking “I know that I should meditate” but I’ve got to do this chore first and then I’ll sit down, or I’ve only got 10 minutes that’s not long enough so why start.  Also, what about that your mind wanders and or you simply can’t get centered and stay in your self to focus on your self?  These are but a few blocks to getting to that meditation space.  Meditation isn’t a fix it project.  It isn’t a scored assignment either.  Nor does it have to be the place of centeredness where you think you are going to get insight for your life direction (though you could).  That is some big pressure put on the process of meditating.  Your mind can wander and notice that, then just come back to where you are sitting.  You can go over your “laundry list” and just notice that you are feeling something about the list.  Does the list make you anxious or you would rather just get to it and get it done and off you mind?  Is there an expectation from meditating that the act of doing this will fix your money situation, relationship situation, health or something going on at work?  It isn’t a process that it fixes something, it is a process for you to get into your self with out any expectation that something has to be resolved so it goes away.  It is just that, a process.  When you give yourself more than 10 minutes to invest in just noticing that you are feeling something (like you want to get up and start moving as fast as the speed of light) this is part of you noticing.  You want to go so you don’t have to stay and do the work (discipline).  You might want some magical spark of something that hits you like a bolt of lightening but you your self do not want to stay present and do the work.  It does take work to figure out what and who you are.  So, if you invest 5 extra minutes a day to the start time of say 10 minutes in a week you’ll be  able to meditate for 45 minutes. Just notice what you are thinking and why.  That’s all. Don’t make it into something mystical and when that doesn’t happen your disappointed in the process.  Stay grounded, do the work, Rita


We think of being flexible with just our bodies.  There is more to being flexible than just a good yoga pose let’s say.  You are at your top game when you have your internal view finder set on flexible.  Emotionally flexible, also perception and beliefs.  How you hold your beliefs around your emotions will impact your outcome tremendously if you are not flexible with the situation you have manifested.  Emotions can take over and you can become frozen with pain or fear and believe me that can make you rigid rather than flowing through the event.  An emotional reaction is you own perception about the situation.  The more that you can remain focused on knowing that there are unlimited facets to the kaleidoscope will broaden your perception regarding what you are experiencing.  What you experience and how you react to it is the learning.  The more flexible you are invested knowing that you have choices will keep you from becoming rigid and stuck.  Flexible means surrender.  Flexible means you aren’t going to be attached to the outcome.  How do you do that you say?  Stay tuned for my upcoming workshop on The Laws of the Universe according to how a person can live with in their guidance!  Keep stretching,  Rita

What do you really see?

I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in a word are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is that the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it whotuit a pboerlm. This is bcuseaethe huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!  No, I didn’t have my fingers on the wrong keys while I was typing.  But isn’t this fun!  Your brain and perception can really run amuck can’t it.  The point being that we really do have our own unique perception about what we want to see and how we want to figure out what we are experiencing.  The real challenge when watching or observing life is how attached to the outcome are you?  How invested are you in getting someone to “see it” what ever it is the way you see it?  What about you seeing someone say a blonde and the person really is a brunette?  You are so convinced that they are blonde because this is what your reference point is (blonde) and that you are right that you truly can’t see the brunette.  Does that mean you are wrong?  Hmmm!  Or just that is your perception and reference.  You are used to blondes so anyone you look at looks like they have some rendition of blonde in their hair.  Actually the twist is how invested are you in trying to get anyone else to see it just the way you see it.  How tightly do you hold on too getting someone else to validate or agree with your belief?  The ego can be very persistent and dominate to win.  To be right.  Being right doesn’t mean someone else not agreeing with you has to be wrong.  Just diferneft.  Do you want to win and be right or orare you comfortable not convincing someone that your pecretipon is just that?    Rita

Killing Pain

Knowing you are in pain and ways that you deal with the pain are two distinct sense of awareness.  We are naturally set up to avoid pain at all costs.  You as an individual perceive your pain in a unique way.  Others may be able to empathize or understand but truly another can not actually hold the actual feeling of your pain.  So, it’s like having a baby.  Only you know the pain and intensity of  the whole event.  Even other women who have had babies can empathize because they have had a baby, but they can not know your experience.  It is yours and yours alone.  With that being said you really have to know your tolerance level.  Your awareness of how much you can take and when you numb out is imperative to your consciousness.  A very disturbing report came out that 6,600 women die each year from prescription drugs.  Up 40%.  So this signals to me that women are in physical pain first perhaps.  Yes, then move out of the physical pain and are addicted to the drug.  There is emotional pain too.  This pain is so deep and hard to make go away that the excuse for the physical pain can become the perfect excuse to keep using the drug.  If you don’t know the emotional pain is connected to the physical at some level in the first place it becomes the cart and horse story.  If you know someone or you your self may become aware of an addiction to “pain killers” and they eventually do lead to killing, take time to actually find out why and what pain you are really killing? Be engaged with your self, Rita


Tolerance for your self

Be loving to your self right now, you are bringing to the surface many hidden emotional beliefs due to the Retrograde.  This tolerance is also connected to patience.  You might go through days of dis-organized feelings and confusion.  This is part of the Retrograde.  To shake you up so that you can take a look at your hidden strategy or strategies.  While you could be unaware that that is what is going on and can’t put your finger on the upheaval, be tolerant of the process.  Let it take its course with you.  Trust that you’ll come out of this with vital awareness and information that you are longing for.  The longing is for change and the change is to let you be more of your true self.  Your true self is the Self that you might not be deeply in touch with at the conscious level so your job will be to pay attention.  Pay attention to a new feeling or behavior.  Pay attention to something you might not feel an urge to do anymore that you were addicted or habituated to before.  So you could open up or let go.  Be attentive and patient then you’ll be able to notice.  That’s your true self and job.  Rita