“We’re all working on something, aren’t we?” I read that somewhere and oh how it hit a cord inside of me.
All the years that I have been coaching side by side with my clients, tailor fitting their description of their journey for them so that they might find a more insightful sense of Self has healed me too.
Never doubt that whatever you bring to any situation you are teacher and student, they are one.
Now how you live your life with the learning is up to you, you are the director of your movie. Only you can see what you project out of yourself after it is on the screen.
What I mean by this is what you believe is what you project onto life. What is outside of you is up to your interpretation. You are responsible for your belief. You are the only one who can react or decide to observe what you THINK you are seeing.
When you are in the throes of living every day and you are on automatic you very well might not take the time to let this concept run through your filter.
You choose with your free will what you are doing. You might say this isn’t so, this isn’t your circumstances, you have to work where you are, you have to stay in this relationship, or you have to be by this person who is ill.
These circumstances may be very true, yet, there is a twist in it. It is you who chooses how you feel about yourself while you are in these situations. You alone are the only one who can be working on yourself while you are miserable, sad, lonely, afraid, angry, or feeling invisible.
Only you can choose to love you, respect you, and find your truth and internal freedom while you are serving out your circumstances.
What I always recommend to my clients is Silence. Inside yourself find your sweet spot. Find your pulse or river running through you that will bring you to just you.
Silence is to give you space to listen to your internal dialogue. Is this negative dialogue you’re rehearsing (again)? Perceiving that your feelings are negative about the outside situation could be you are really disappointed in yourself that you are where you are at this time in your life?
To differentiate the two (you vs. them) you may need to spend some time in silence and sort out what it is you are letting yourself react to. Rather than react you can observe; this is way more calming than the mouse in the maze routine of the old thought process.
Getting really pissed off feeling very, very sorry for your -self may give you a momentary sense of victory and yet don’t you feel like it really doesn’t fulfill your true needs?
But more than that outcome (your momentary sense of victory) does anything outside of you change when you check back in on your situation? Example: are the people you’re dealing with look different to you, or behave differently or are they still expecting you to behave exactly the way you’ve been behaving or the way they want you to serve them?
This is what I mean when I say we are all working on something. WE are working on building our own sense of Self. We are all here to find our-self. Work on not waiting for someone to point out who you are supposed to be, for, you will remain lost. Lost is very dissatisfying and lonely and disappointing.
And how many people can you blame that you don’t want to find something in yourself that you want to work on?
I’d rather be investing working steadily on my internal Self-everyday while I’m doing the “everyday” stuff than just keep doing the everyday “stuff” and then when the everyday day is done I’m still feeling shitty.
There is no reason to keep going on in this process. Choose YOU to do it differently or do the same routine and have the same outcome.
Take away: SILENCE – Who are you blaming- Observe rather than react.